Summer tips.

Hello everyone. I am concerned that all humanity other then myself is not getting themselves excited for the summer months coming up like I am.

So, the nice guy that I am, have decided to give you a few tips, free of charge.

Tip one: Buy a convertible. Here is a good example of what kind to buy, but any convertible will do. Do not discuss this with your wife before purchasing your vehicle. She will be mad, but will get over it. Buy her a new mop or something. Maybe a pair of those rubber gloves they use when they clean the toilet.

Tip two: Put a nice stereo in it. It gets noisy when the wind is blowing through your hair down the road so I suggest a powerful stereo. Here are the two old school Rockford Fosgate 1000 watt monsters I have in the back of mine. If your rear view mirror doesn’t shake when you turn up gangster rap music, it’s not powerful enough. A nice glitzy stereo that plays videos and shows stuff on a little color lcd screen is cool too. Mine will even show pics of my hottie wife on it when I get around to figuring it out.

Tip three: Drive it around with the top down even if it’s still forty degrees outside. This will get you in the right “mindset” for when it really is warm outside. Do not drive it in front of your house if you have failed to inform your wife that you obediently responded to tip one. There is a chance she might see you enjoying life excessively more then she is as she is vacuuming the living room, testing out the new mop you bought her with her new rubber gloves on and forlornly looking out the window. Living in a large city like Los Angeles helps you hide better then if you live in a town with only one traffic light in the entire county like, say, Nephi, Utah.

Tip four: Buy some cool “Dirty Harry” dark prescription sunglasses that you can stare at people with and they can’t tell if you really are staring at them like some sort of perv or not. It helps keep the sun out of your eyes. And since you’ll be driving your new convertible around town picking up cleaning supplies for your wife back at the house, and the sun will be beating down on your face, you’ll need them.

Tip five: Don’t post anything you do on Facebook or any dumb blogsite where you might get caught. Chances are that the “she” might take a break from cleaning the bathroom or weeding the vegetable garden and get on the computer and see it.

And then undoubtedly try to blame it all on me.

You're welcome.

Jay