See this innocent little noise machine? I hate it. We all make sacrifices when we get married. And my lovely wife Emily, likes “white noise” when she sleeps. I like it quiet at night so when I am sleeping and I hear a burglar trying to break in to steal my eggs or something, I can get up and shoot him. But with this thing, I hear nothing.
The other night we had the power go out and her lovely little machine went dead quiet and I had failed to get back up batteries. Ahhh ….silence. The wonderful nothingness of it all. But guess what? It seems that after all these years of nocturnal brainwashing that Emily has imposed upon me with her little sound machine, I now can’t sleep. David is coughing. The roof has a tiny leak behind the wood burning stove and I hear it drip. Elijah is snoring. Zach still talks in his sleep. Yikes. What a mess. Then the power comes on……and then off. Then on again, then off. Apparently the default “white noise” setting when the sound machine from you-know-where comes back on is “birds”. So when I was able to finally fall asleep I was startled awake again by birds screeching and chirping loudly. How on earth is that supposed to be a sound that lulls you to sleep? I kept waking up thinking I was sleeping in the aviary at the San Diego Zoo.
Emily doesn’t like the ocean setting because it occasionally has a whale sound. She doesn’t like whales or the odd noises they make. It freaks her out.
So now I am stuck. I’ll have to buy some batteries, I presume. Or go sleep in the tree house or something.
1 comment:
haha. Good post Jay! We love our noisemaker you gave us. I can't sleep without it. :)
Post a Comment